Guidelines for setting Intentions
Let me ask you a question: What is it you REALLY want? – Yes you. Not what other people want for you and that you do your damnedest to live up to – or down to, whichever the case may be. Think about it, does the prospect of that make you feel fluttery, wobbly even?
Could be that you have been restricted by your limiting beliefs for so long you don’t even realize you can actually ask for what you want, or that you have the power to achieve it. Most of us are masters of self sabotage and really what we could do with is a set of guidelines for raising our awareness and to bring us back to center when we wander off the rails. Hence this post:
This list is by no means comprehensive. My intention is to hold out a supportive hand to enable you to experience how life changes subtly and not so subtly once you get the hang of it and make it a daily practice until it becomes second nature – that’s not to say it has to be executed in a disciplined manner – nooo, the minute someone tells me I have to do something is the time you can see me running for the hills – you’ll develop your own unique way of doing things.
1. Monitor your Thoughts
Whenever I talk to people about intention I always begin with the phrases “Energy follows thought” and ‘What we think about, we bring about”
Become aware of how you think. That’s all – don’t beat yourself up, I’m asking you to simply notice how often you fall into your default thinking patterns of fear, anxiety, worry and negativity. At first just gently notice. These powerful thoughts send unconscious messages out with your intentions.
2. Notice your words
This goes hand in hand with no.1 Watch your language – listen to yourself – hear the words you say.
Use AND instead of BUT. BUT is ‘dismissive. ‘AND’ is inclusive
“What you did was good AND you could have included this to make it better” as opposed to “What you did was good BUT you could have included this to make it better” Can you feel the difference?
Be careful how you use NEVER and ALWAYS – they are words capable of creating high anxiety. “I always screw things up”, “I’m never going to be able to figure this out” – Neither is true – how have you managed to survive thus far in life? They are extreme words that hook you into your story, set you off on an emotional roller coaster ride.
Another word to be aware of is ‘SHOULD’ – It immediately plunges you into victim mentality, like you are being forced to do something against your will – it could well have all sorts of guilt connections so it’s good to be aware.
And ‘HATE’ – what an awful draining word. Whatever it’s connected to people, circumstances, war, violence … It’s a word that saps your energy.
When people ask how you are, practice responding with an “I’m good thanks” See how it makes you feel as opposed to “Well, not too bad”, or “I’m surviving” I have a friend who’s response is always a resounding “Magnificent, thank you” His Tigger like energy is infectious, an instant energy lifter. Even if you don’t always feel marvellous say the words anyway and notice what happens. My habit now when I encounter those who moan or mope constantly is to enquire “So what’s new, and what’s good?” It’s like a confuser for the brain and they go in search of a positive rather than delving straight into their woes.
3. Write it down
Say what you want out loud. May sound a bit weird but it’s a fact that if you speak what you want it engages more of your neurology and makes it more ‘real’.
As you write your intent put feeling into it. Feeel what it would be like to be where you want to be, be happy, do what ever it is you want to do. Put your wishes and desires on stick it notes and put them up everywhere. Look at them regularly and remember the feelings. Read them aloud especially when old thought patterns come into your mind.
It really works, honestly. And my personal little habit is to use the words like I’m daydreaming – “I wonder how …” and ” Wouldn’t it be lovely if ….” give it a go – I have manifested so many things this way they are too numerable to count.
A few years ago ‘I put out’ the thought that I wanted to live in a typically English cottage, with beams and roses around the window, preferably in a village, that was easily accessible for my existing clients, and those yet to come. I had the perfect picture in my mind and on my dreamboard. It was easy – I often stayed in a friend’s place in the Lake District which I thought of as idyllic, except that it was miles away from anywhere and took ages to get to. Within two years I decided to do it, putting my house up for sale! A buyer appeared really quickly. Well, there were three actually, and I thought I had found the right place for me. The sale of the house I wanted to buy fell through, leaving me feeling confused and insecure – like the prospect of having nowhere to live does to you – until the very next day I found the absolute PERFECT cottage up at a ridiculously low price – No wonder, it needed gutting to be livable, but you know, that’s what the universe does – we put out our intention and it answers, often by way of opportunity, and we are faced with choices – Me? I took up to baton and ran with it, spent six months project managing what looked and felt like a bombsite with a hugely talented but moody builder and now live in my dream home – even now I wake up every morning and have to pinch myself to make sure it’s real. It sometimes takes courage and determination but when things are right everything flows to orchestrate it exactly as it should be.
4. So that ….
For example: “I intend to lose 10lbs so that I can get fit and healthy”. “So that” implies that you can’t do one without the other. It’s really restrictive when intentions are actually about expansion. Much better to combine two things in a statement “My intention is to progressively lose 10lb whilst I eat well and take care of my body.
5. Decide who you want to be
Ask yourself the question: “Who do I really want to be?”
If you feel like you constantly sabotage your own desires, wishes, progress be kind to yourself. You didn’t do it by yourself – during your lifetime you’ve picked up lots of other peoples thoughts, beliefs and limitations and taken them on as your own. Change takes time. Make the intention for one thing at a time to be different and be very kind to yourself. It’s so easy to fall back into that place of victim, – you make yourself the victim. You have a choice. Instead of berating yourself when things don’t go to plan notice what happened to cause that hiatus, cut yourself a little slack, give yourself some credit – acknowledge how far you’ve come, today’s another day!
And a word of caution here if you’re thinking of intending that all your emotional ‘stuff’ connected to other people is simply going to disappear – I have to tell you lady that it just ain’t going to happen! Changing our own behaviour inevitably has an impact on those around us however changing your thinking isn’t going to change them. They have to be ready and willing to do it for themselves
In my ‘SHINE’ 2 Day Creative Workshop we do lots of fun exercises around ‘The Writing on Our Walls‘ and how that impacts our thoughts and behaviours.
For my part I choose to be:
1. An inspiration to other women (because I had been fortunate to have someone in my life who had inspired me)
2.Encouraging (because I spent a great deal of my life with people who put me down and never knew how to encourage me, never mind be the best I could)
3. Healing (because it’s important to me to be able to serve others and make a difference in the world). And that includes ‘healing’ my own stuff – knowing that it’s never all done – allowing myself to be who I am and to take imperfect action.
Does that mean I’m always an inspirational, encouraging and healing individual? Nope, not at all – my daughter often reminds me to take notice of my own words! But these are some of the guidelines I live my life by.
6. Ing …
Aka Living in the future
For example: “I’m intending that I am becoming more successful in my business whilst improving my skills and attracting new clients.”
The universe always says “Yes” – You are attracting these things without doubt. Teachers of the Law of Attraction say that everything we desire is lined up outside the door, we just have to know how to get into a place of allowing. It’s much better to state your intention in the now. Act ‘as if.’ Stay in the present tense. ‘Ing’ suggests something in the future.
It might sound a little restrictive but honestly, it’s much better to start with one thing and state it as if it’s already here.
7. Being scattered is like constantly ‘multi tasking’
“I intend to be more conscious, conscientious, healthy, focused and attentive to other people’s needs. Oh, and I’d like to take better care of me too”. You know guys – you’re setting yourself up for failure, big style! It’s so much more beneficial to concentrate on one ambition at a time, that way you give yourself the opportunity of experiencing a sense of achievement, completion and success. And the bonus here is that when you make single intentions other things on your list often manifest effortlessly.
8. Trying to figure out the ‘HOW’
Trying to figure out he HOW is behaviour caused by your ‘lack mindset’. You don’t have to know how. Your job is to take action, make your intention, the universe will take care of the rest. I know its a big ask but the word that springs to mind here is ‘trust’ – sort of like ‘leap and the net will appear’.
9. Get yourself a Buddy
Even if it’s only for one month, give this a go. Find yourself someone you trust to share your intentions with. It doesn’t have to be someone you see face to face, my buddy Lucinda lives in Burlington, Ontario. We are both part of a mentoring mastermind group and we both know for sure that distance is no object, it’s the connection that matters.
You do have to have a few rules in place to make this work well:
1. Share your intention with your buddy at the beginning of each month
2. Remind one another – accountability is good
3. Limit the moaning and groaning to five minutes or so and then get them to restate their intention.
4. Help each other watch your language. Be firm yet kind about victim mentality and words.
5. Make it a habit to inform one another about your accomplishments and any changes you’ve noticed. They are often subtle so take note – little steps are just as important to acknowledge as the biggies.
Take today for example …
My car was repaired after someone ran into the back of me and when it was returned last week there were fresh scratches on the door so I asked for it to be sorted. Recollection was arranged and when I went to bed last night thinking about the lock on the same door that had been patched after someone had tampered with it I was musing, “wouldn’t it be nice if the whole thing were done to make it look really smart again”, but dismissed it because that would entail more time and expense removing the panel etc. And guess what? – Yep, You got it … As if by magic my car was redelivered, scratches gone and lock sorted – hey presto – thank you universe once again!
6. Remember to Celebrate and start again.
10. Be Persistent
Watching your thoughts, words and actions can take a little time to get used to. You will catch yourself sliding all over the place whether you’ve done this before or not. It’s okay. It’s something you will get used to and I can promise you it will make a HUGE difference in your life. Start with baby steps, and start today. When you fall off the wagon, pick yourself up and start over. This isn’t a race, it’s a process, that will, with persistence, become a valuable habit – there’s no time limit.
Oh, and just one more thing – Before you begin any activity set an intention for it. Intend what you want the outcome to be, and how you want to feel during it. It’s the ultimate act of creativity. When you set an intention the universe moves into action rearranging itself to make it happen.
Do you have any tales to tell of how intention worked for you?
Please feel free to share and inspire other to do the same