What is it you can't touch yet it affects how you feel?
What is it you can't see but it may be there when you look in the mirror?
What is silent but it's there when you talk about yourself or when you think about yourself?
Did you guess?
It's all about Self Worth.
The way we perceive our own self worth as a person has a profound effect on every aspect of our life. How do we tend to measure our own self worth and what can we do to improve it?
1. We give so much credence to someone else's opinion or perspective our own is diminished.
Hey Hun, let me assure you it's perfectly normal to seek approval. We all need positive strokes to remain happy and healthy. Trick is to use external validation to reinforce our beliefs rather than a basis to doubt and deny them. If you know someone's opinion to be fair and balanced all well and good, if dubious ask yourself what you can do to trust your own judgement.
2. We judge ourselves and our success on what we have
There's no doubt the finer things in life are wonderful - they can become meaningless tokens though. When you are filling emotional holes with things you acquire the pit is bottomless and will never feel full for more than a fleeting moment.
Try a different tack - contribute in some way or other. Find a way of 'Paying it forward' ideally so the receiver has no idea where the good deed came from. Notice the difference in energy between contribution and acquisition and how it fills you up with a rosy glow.
3. We put too high a value on credentials
Are you like I used to be? Have to have all the pieces of paper, chasing more and more until you have a whole catalogue of certificates and then feeling you need to practice for nothing just in case you’re not as good as you’re supposed to be. What if I’m a fraud kinda thing.
After years and years of working through those kind of doubts, the need for belt, braces and pieces of string as back ups, my nugget of hard earned wisdom ….
The only way you’re gonna build your confidence is to get yourself some experience so do it scared and imperfect but do it anyway!
4. Success v’s failure
“Sometimes when things are falling apart they may actually be falling into place”
Life becomes less of a struggle when we accept it’s mostly about learning, adjusting and responding. Until we come to a point of acceptance that we’re rarely totally in control and even then things can still go awry, most of us have defense mechanisms that kick in and we scramble to save face the moment we sense failure looming. Fear and shame mingle and accelerate and so often that is the lingering energy of the memory.
If only we could celebrate and hold onto our successes with the same fervour.
And your successes … How do you celebrate?
Doesn’t have to be champagne and caviar - take a leaf out of Wendy’s book (below)
Do a happy happy dance and revel in the joy of the moment.
When contemplating your self worth ask yourself:
What’s most valuable about me?
What lights me up?
What makes my heart sing?
What makes me unique?
You are you know ... !
You’re one of a kind.
You are YOU and that alone gives you personal value and self worth.
What’s your contribution to the world?
Come on, your approval is the one that’s most required.
Celebrate the little things that make you YOU x
Wendy's triumphal dance
"Winning the special Dare to Dream prize means so much to me. I did a large, (and thankfully solitary) sort of triumphal dance about the house singing "simply the best" at the top of my voice - this was sheer, unadulterated Joy, at the recognition of something I thought was lost and long gone - my quirky sense of what might cause people to smile, feel good, and go forward into the day's possibilities - to Dare to Dream ......... "
Wendy Wallace, South Africa