We can’t dictate what happens to us but we surely can decide how we respond to what life throws at us.
In no way am I saying we ‘should ‘ be stoic and calm about everything that happens, flippin heck no.
Sometimes we have to go through the panic and fear to get to a place of putting things into perspective and I appreciate it’s not always immediate but it is very necessary otherwise we’d be living in a constant state of reaction with all it’s debilitating side effects.
I’m usually a very feet on the ground and handle anything kind of gal but hey, you should have seen me, well … perhaps not … when the torrential rain at the end of 2012 got down my chimney whilst I was visiting my son in Oz. Honestly, from where I was standing the whole house was going to collapse – talk about wild imaginings – for a while there it was like the building had turned into one of those Japanese animations with cracks like gaping mouths and wobbling like jelly on it’s foundations kinda like “Spirited Away” on steroids, and to make it worse it came to light the day before the Christmas holidays with no hope of any kind of immediate remedy – of course I was being soothed and assured by kindly folks that all was well – but could I believe them? – not a chance – I was engulfed by panic and “what ifs” … it wasn’t life or death but it might as well have been for a day or three.
Our stories may be different but most of us have a drama or two of varying degrees that we could share.
What can we do when life throws us a curved ball? We can either live in the problem, which of course happens to most people in the first instance, or we can live in the solution.
Which would you prefer?
“ LIFE is 10 percent what happens to us and 90 percent how we respond to it.” – Chuck Swindoll.
However bad things are, whatever emotions are swamping us, there is ALWAYS another perspective however hard that may be to swallow.
It’s okay to be there for a while that’s human and normal but whether we like it or not we are the ones in control of our lives.
– you try holding two thoughts at the same time – one of sadness and one of happiness – can’t be done – so why not choose a happy thought? Go on, just for a moment, and then do it again, and again. Make it a habit and see what changes.
Here are a couple of other things you can do to help you through the tough times:
Write out all your fears
Yes, the big grisly ugly ones – worst case scenario type horrors.
Get them out of your head onto the page let the words drip off the end of your pen and create any kind of mess you like but get them out. Write solidly for five minutes or longer if it helps. Allow yourself to feel the sense of relief this will undoubtedly bring. It will help rid you of the debilitating stuck energy that’s messing you up. It’ll give you some clarity and allow you to get things into perspective.
Put it in a letter never to be sent
If your grief, anger, hurt, fear, whatever, involves another person turn your words into a letter where you pour out your deepest feelings. Say EVERYTHING you’d like them to hear – good and bad – really go for it – it’s totally safe because once written you are going to destroy the evidence. Burn it, tear it up, stick it in a plain envelope and shove it in a post box – that way the post office will dispose of it for you, get rid of it in anyway you like because it was never intended to be read it was just about cleansing ourself of that ‘stuff’ you were carrying around.
Tap out your fears
Make a List
Write a list of things that nourish you body and soul, even if they seem a million miles away at the moment.
Now make another list of the good things in life – I’m not talking a Gratitude List here – that could be one step too far and can be saved for another day – I’m asking you to consider and notice the small niceties that in calmer times make life worth living.
How does that feel?
PS If you’re wondering … it was a quite a big job – not an expense I was anticipating and the end wall doesn’t look pretty ensconced in scaffolding but all is now well and awaiting it’s final coat of render. My next trip to see the kidlets in Oz … is on hold!