7 Steps to Making Your Best Decision
Oh my, what a week it’s been, the past 7 days have stretched out so it feels like a month.
Car issues … a pet hate because it’s one of the few areas of my life where I feel almost completely vulnerable. What to do when the old faithful you’ve owned for a decade decides it’s about time to give up the ghost! Panic? Well, not quite but it has created an awful lot of discomfort and uncertainty.
Long story short … I have always wanted a convertible .. I have harboured the desire for many a long day. I did once own and dearly love a red and white Citroen 2CV with roll back hood but she didn’t exactly represent the height of sophistication. I have been delaying the inevitable decision for so long and the day I said “Okay I’m ready” it was like the universe breathed a sigh of relief and orchestrated the conditions for my old car to cough, splutter and come to a grinding halt.
After much deliberation and elimination the chosen vehicle was located – not the one on my vision board – too far out of my reach I concluded – and a suitable substitute was agreed – one that could house a leggy greyhound in the back – a very important consideration … or so I thought!
Decision made, deal agreed – Could I sleep? Not a chance! Truth is I was settling. Settling for second best and every fibre of me knew it. When we hand our dreams over to the universe and we are in turn given an opportunity is it wise to short change ourselves? I think not …
Here are some thoughts that were whizzing around in my head. I wonder if you recognize any of them for yourself?
1. Wanting certainty before taking action – that ‘s the perfectionist bit.
How can anyone know without doubt when it comes to cars that you’re buying absolute reliability?
2. Being scared of making an emotional decision based on a whim – that’s often the slippery path to making big mistakes and then of course having to justify it over and over to myself and others (who are the ‘others’ anyway?)
How can I fit my daughter, her boyfriend and the dog into a 2 seater cabriolet? The answer is I can’t and in actual fact that scenario probably happens fewer than three times a year. Alternatives can be found.
3. Believing it can only be right with the approval of significant others. What’s that about then? Being scared of the responsibility and having no one to blame?
4. Being fearful of repeating past mistakes (well, being aware of them is a big first step!)
If this sounds like you, try these steps as a way of speeding you through the agony
1. Listen to your body – It is overflowing with wisdom and retains the energy and emotions of past experiences both pleasant and unpleasant which can interfere with clear decision making. When you tune in your gut instincts will guide you.
2 Make a list of your alternatives – write down every option available to you.
3. Ask yourself the question in 3 or 4 different ways. Be creative – looking at things from a different perspective and even through someone else’s eyes can yield alternative solutions.
4. Remember what happened on previous occasions in a similar situations.
5. Go inwards. Take a moment. Close your eyes. Breath deeply. Place your hand on your heart and connect with all that is you.
Ask – what it is you truly want. Listen inwardly for any insights. Look at your decisions in your mind’s eye. Which choice contains the energy of both lightness and possibilities? Which feels dull or lifeless?
6. Give yourself some time and space between now and when the decision has to be made. Distance gives perspective. It separates you from the emotions of the situation.
7. Make the decision! Make it concrete – stop agonizing over it. Make it real, write it down. Once it’s out of your head you can stop and let go. Only make decisions you actually want for yourself. And remember, 90% of what we worry about never happens!