“Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experience of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, ambition inspired and success achieved” ~ Helen Keller
What’s in a Story?
Our lives truly are a series of connected stories, one building upon another. Problem is until we become aware of this fact we grow into believing our past equals our future – we allow our experiences to define us. We become the woman this, that or the other happened to. We can even carry our experiences like a badge of honour or disgrace – they influence the way we interpret our version of ourselves and allow others the opportunity to do the same. If happiness was never much of an option how are we ever to believe in our own deserving of a joyful existence?
“In the degree that we remember and retell our stories and create new ones we become the authors, the authorities of our own lives” ~ Sam Keen
Take for instance the girl who’s norm from a tender age was an outwardly ‘normal’ yet ‘privately’ subversive and abusive environment. She donned the mantle of being her mother’s protector, always alert, anticipating the next violent outburst, constantly on red alert. Her self imposed role to cope, to keep everyone and everything safe, a ball of internal anxiety, always on the sidelines, and eternally unacknowledged. Her ability to discern subtle exchanges and innuendo was masterful.
Tragedy struck! Suicide! Oh the shame! The blame! The denial!
A new ‘normality’ began the very next day – back to school – words of ‘It has nothing to do with anyone else”, off you go. that’s it, done and dusted. An uneasy sense of relief mingled with new struggles, lurching from one crisis to the next, fearful of tiny glimpses of happiness in case of disastrous consequences. The stories stacked up, one upon the other, common, mostly dysfunctional, themes emerging.
~ Maxine Kumin
Messages in what happens
The first of several bouts of Shingles struck at the age of 24, they lasted two years, followed by both gastric and abdominal ulcers. Stress ruled okay!
An observer’s interpretation might be a life of sad losses and uncanny twists and turns and yet from the other side of the looking glass it was perhaps a very different story. What if the truth of the matter is that in most cases we make our own happy endings through the choices we make for ourselves?
“I hope you will go out and let stories happen to you, and that you will work them, water them with your blood and tears and your laughter ’til they bloom, ’til you yourself burst into bloom” ~ Clarrisa Pinkola Estes
A Light Bulb Moment
This week I read an enlightening (for me) article written by my friend Frauke Moebuis called ‘The Shoe Mentality” where she talks about shoes representing good and bad luck and how if good things happen the second shoe might drop quickly to eliminate those feelings. It made sense of Louise Hay’s suggestion in her iconic book ‘You can heal your life” that shingles mean “Waiting for the other Shoe to Drop” It’s taken a heck of a while but the penny dropped that day – It’s about fear, suspense, morbid anticipation, the constant expectation of disaster and being over sensitive.
At that moment it occurred to me that navigating a fearful and stressful life can be compared to a tight rope walker up high. He must appear completely composed, have confidence in his own skills to keep himself safe and yet be always vigilant of impending dangers. One lapse in concentration and kaput all is lost until.
F.E.A.R is always based in lies we tell ourselves. Click To Tweet
False Evidence Appearing Real
Lies like – Things can’t change – The world is an unsafe place – Things will always remain the same – I can never be safe and happy.
“It’s never too late to become who you might have been” ~ George Elliot
Looking at it from a different angle
So let’s think about this … If our thoughts create our reality what’s happening here? The past doesn’t exist other than the influence we project upon it. The past is a memory, not a reality and we do have a choice in how it affects us. Yes, it’s true there are tools and techniques to help us transform our associated thoughts and feelings but you know, even with Meridian Energy Techniques the memories aren’t erased.
Our past and our stories constitutes everything we are, they’re what made us who we are today. They account for our behaviours in life, in relationships, and it offers us alternative choices. Choices to be happy, to appreciate the little good things and the bigger things too.
So what will you choose?
It’s your Choice
Did you guess? The little girl in the story? Yep, that was me a very long time ago.
Life was indeed difficult and there have been many times when I’ve bemoaned my lot, asked “Why me?” Got down in the dumps, and further still … but somehow I always knew … A change of mind can cause a change of heart – or is it the other way around … No matter – Oh yes, and I always believed I had someone sitting on my shoulder protecting me – now how would a child know something like that? Haven’t a clue but it’s true.
All I can say is that I am ‘the proof of the pudding’ this ‘stuff” really works!
An abundant mindset and choice of thought is sometimes all we have but please believe me – You cannot hold a negative and a positive thought in your mind at the same time.
It’s your choice – Which one is it to be?
Please, do leave your comments in the box below x
“Everything is held together with stories. That is all that is holding us together, stories and compassion” ~ Barry Lopez
“How many cares one loses when one decides not to be something but to be someone” ~ Coco Chanel