Do not listen to those who weep and complain, for their disease is contagious ~ Og Mandino Click To Tweet
I knew someone who complained about every flippin thing. How hard life was, her wayward kids, the cost of cabbage, her unsupportive husband, you name it. If someone had an ache hers was worse, her childhood woes, stomach aches, pimples et al. And nothing was ever good enough, the service, the goods, the weather … whatever … Now I used to be able to moan and groan with the best of them but compared to this lady I was a proverbial little ray of sunshine.
Truth be known no one likes to be around a complainer, except perhaps someone of the same disposition, it’s too draining, like being in the company of an energy vampire, and it’s contagious too.
I wonder if you could ask your nearest and dearest how often you complain? Go on, I dare you. Ask them to be honest, it could be quite enlightening. Before you do though let me clarify this a bit … I’m not talking about the times you genuinely need to get something off your chest, have just experienced a disappointment, a heart break, or genuinely need a listening ear. No, what I’m referring to is the constant, droning, useless, monotonous, comparison, whining kind of complaining.
Do you blame someone else for what has or is happening in your life, how you are feeling and behaving? Do you try to engage other people in your stories about how stuck you are, wanting them to agree, bring them around to your point of view? Do you want to be right? Do you want to be rescued so that someone else can take on the struggle?
More often than not complaining is a sign of feelings like: “I’m scared I feel overwhelmed, Don’t feel good enough, Fear of being inadequate and I might fail”.
It’s important to notice what’s going on. Recognise those feeling … your feelings … even the thick, dense, uncomfortable stuff like anger, hurt and jealousy. Listen to your words … are you replaying the same old stories just in different scenarios .. what is it really about?
What am I getting out of this?
What are the benefits? – Maybe I’m preparing the ground for the possibilities of failure?
Is this about making me look good so others look bad?
How do I feel when I do this?
Be open to new insights
How to stop whining
When you are about to complain, think, bite your tongue, remember:
- Complaining is the denial of responsibilities. Blame is another way of excusing yourself from being responsible. Ask yourself: “Am I looking for sympathy?”
- Instead of complaining focus your attention on the energy of creating solutions rather than problems
- Consider: Is this even worth giving breath to? I mean, what is the point of complaining about things you have no control over like the weather? On that note have you noticed, the people complaining about the heat this summer are the same ones who were bemoaning the rain and cold last year?
- Learn to listen more and speak less. We possess two ears and one mouth – hmmm how relevant is that?
- A really great reason for not complaining is that people love being in the company of positive folks. How are you welcomed, say around a table at a party? Do others jostle to sit close to you to get a dose of buoyant energy? Think about it. Who do you want to be? You have the power to change things. Are you ready?
Tell us .. What do you complain about? Will this post inspire you to stop complaining?