How can you strengthen your courage muscle?
I started doing it again – going to networking meetings I mean.
It’s was never a favourite pastime and I had to Dare myself to do it even though I had found a very lively welcoming group.
It was funny to hear a couple of comments about all the gadding about I’ve been doing over the past few weeks .. and kinda nice … because it proves peeps do actually read my posts :0)
It’s easy to look at someone who appears to ‘have it all together’ and assume it just comes naturally to them. In my case that couldn’t be further from the truth …
I used to be the withdrawn, blushing, total lack of confidence, beat myself up for not being good enough kid and young woman, and to be truthful there are still areas of my life that initially fill me with trepidation until I’ve gotten my ‘head and heart around them’. I still haven’t made that first video for my home page or offered my first Webinar – but maybe I’ll have the courage now …
What I came to know is that much of what held me back big style came from old patterns and beliefs and feelings of regret – for not doing things, for not getting it right, for fear of saying the wrong thing etc, etc, etc.
Recognise any of these?
There isn’t time or space to go into that here but what I have done is to compile a little list of things I learned to help myself – You may find them useful too ;0) x
“Don’t ask yourself what the world needs. Ask yourself what makes you come alive. And then go do that. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive”
1. Choose to let go of regrets
When I have to stand up and do the 40 second snippet more often than not I come away thinking “I could have said, done that differently”. “Everyone else looks like they know what they are doing”. “I lost my words”. “I should be better at his by now”. And when I reflect on what I just wrote I see that it’s a mini synopsis of how I used to talk to myself all the time about everything I did in life. Patterns repeat themselves but you know what – I’m choosing to let go of regret, it serves no purpose. All it does is make me feel bad and tomorrow is another day.
2. Change how you look at things
Okay so I didn’t do so good at stringing my words together this time, so what! It’s hardly life threatening is it and there will be other opportunities and actually as I get to know people I start to learn that I’m not alone, the greater percentage of people aren’t that comfortable with standing up and saying their piece. Once we tear ourselves away from the indulgence of how bad it feels for us we start to recognise that we are not alone. People are attracted to us not merely for what comes out of our mouths – remember the stats for first impressions – what is it? Only something like 7% counts for what you actually say, 38% on how you say it and 55% on who you are and how the world sees you – by my reckoning if you wear a big beaming smile and speak from the heart those around you are going to feel your presence rather than scrutinize your words.
3. Be True To Yourself
Do you always try to say and do the right thing? Are you nervous and jittery in case you don’t please other people? Are you scared of what they will say or think about you? Do you think every one knows more than you do? Do you wear a secret mask so people have no idea of who you are inside? Do I have news for you …. Being yourself is magnetizing … People somehow know when you are being authentic … they actually love the courage it takes for you to do what you do.Being true to yourself is one of the best and biggest gifts you can give to yourself Click To Tweet
– Oh yes, I realise you may have to relearn how to do this after all those years of being in hiding but it is so doable and so worth it in the long run.
4. Trust your Intuition
Listen to your inner voice. You know when you plan to do/say something and yet when the time comes it doesn’t feel right but you do it any way and then you wish maybe you hadn’t. It’s okay to give yourself a break – things don’t always turn out just as you imagined – blaming yourself won’t help. Give yourself permission to go with your instincts next time. Trusting yourself takes practice and the more you pay attention to your true feelings the easier it will become.
5. Learn to say “YES!”
How often do you pass up an opportunity because you’re not sure, or someone else might not like it, or it might cost too much, or, or, or … ? All I’m saying is give it a chance, whatever it is. If it’s too costly is there a way around it? If a friend invites you out for lunch could you have a picnic in the park instead? Are you sure your partner, kids or whoever would really mind you taking an hour out for yourself? Did you ever ask the question? I find women are often surprised to learn that their loved ones really think they deserve a break/treat – they just never expressed it.
6. Enjoy life. Have some fun
Have you given up on being happy and settled for something less than? What could you do to tap into feeling Joyful? What could you do to make you beam from ear to ear? Being in a happy place is infectious. People love to be around happy people it can’t help but lift their spirits. Laugh loudly and be silly (not necessarily in public places with new acquaintances to begin with ;0)).
Do you have any favourite tips to share?